The Grand Lido Visitors Hangout

Rule One of Foreign Travel: Expect the unexpected and, therefore, be flexible.

We put Rule One to use by making our initial trip to Jamaica just over a week after Hurricane Ivan had devastated parts of the island and left no area untouched by its powerful winds and drenching rains. Our original arrival date had to be pushed back a few days while the staff at GLB worked like crazy to restore the resort to its Four Diamond sparkling condition and reopen it to new guests.

By the time we arrived as part of that first wave of curious guests, with sacks of supplies for the schoolchildren in hand, few traces of the hurricane’s damage remained despite the felling of scores of trees, scattered wind damage and some light flooding. By the end of our visit a week later, only the most discerning eye could detect the lingering traces of Ivan’s massive strike on the resort.

For us, this was not only a vacation; it was the site of our marriage and honeymoon five years after we met each other following unfortunate previous marriages. While we had envisioned dreamily saying our vows in the lovely gazebo jutted out into the blue-green waters of the Caribbean, Rule One meant settling for a flowered arch on the beach with the hurricane-battered gazebo softly sitting in the distance. We had the benefit not only of longtime wedding planner Beverly, but also her soon-to-be and very capable replacement Sherry working with us as her first couple to be married at the resort. Both anticipated or promptly responded to our every need to make our special day extra special.

When we were making our plans to go to Braco, we knew we’d be going to a top-notch resort with great amenities, food, drink, entertainment and so on. What we hadn’t anticipated at all was the simply incredible level of hospitality extended to us and all guests by the entire staff there. While much of it was the result of a professional and well-trained staff doing its job well, there was much more to it. By our second day, several not only knew our names, but also where we were from and what our preferences were for this or that. They actually sit down with you, get to know you and generate such warmth that you feel you’ve known them for years. And you’d never even suspect that many of these people would be returning to homes with roofs that either leaked or no longer existed, that electricity might not be restored to for another few weeks, and that were saving all they could to buy their children schoolbooks. Thank you Annette Thomas, Tamika, Merl and several others, including housekeeping, grounds crews, food services, front desk and the entertainment staff!

While the employees are GLB’s greatest asset, the friendliness of many of the guests run a close second. Sam and Louisa, Selema and her husband, Todd and Kim from Seattle, the group of baseball-loving ladies, the honeymooners from Wisconsin, our new English friends -- David and Barb, Jerry and Bev -- and many, many other new acquaintances all contributed to a wonderfully warm stay. There are handsomely appointed and picturesque resorts all over the world, but finding such fine people as the staff and guests at Braco make the most positive impression. It should be obvious by now that, for us, the people are as important as the places.

That said, we have some fine things to say about the resort as well. Our room was a modest garden one in Building 11 on the textile side. To say the mattress was firm would be an understatement, but we were more concerned by the trio of small pillows so we quickly requested and received enough to suit us. It should be noted that a variety of specialized pillows also can be ordered for an extra fee of $10-$15 per night. We also experienced a clogged toilet early on, but that was rectified within 20 minutes. The room itself was serviceable – nothing plush or special, but all we needed for our stay. We were very grateful for the ceiling mounted air conditioning (operated by a nifty remote control, by the way) that assured us a room with cold, dry air after warm, muggy days outside.

We spent most of our free time on the au naturel side of the resort and we had been led to believe from messages on the Hangout that the walk would be tediously long. Balderdash! Even strolling from the most eastern building on the textile side to the AN clubhouse on the far western extreme was enjoyable, relaxing and accomplished easily in ten minutes. I’m glad we didn’t pay nearly $200 a night more just for gaining a minute factor of convenience.

Another myth from the messages was busted as we sampled and thoroughly enjoyed each of the three major theme restaurants. While some dishes at each place may not have been to our personal preferences (as is the case at any dining establishment anywhere), we found much to enjoy and savor at each locale. I guess the negative comments from a few disgruntled folks stuck with us more than the positive postings, so we were happily surprised to find no disappointments in dining.

The exception to that statement was realized as we were flying back to the states with an overnight planned near the Atlanta airport. By the time we checked in our hotel, Stephanie was violently ill with what turned out to be food poisoning. After several hours of misery, we found our way to the E.R. of an area hospital where she was treated and released just in time to make our flight back home to Tulsa, Oklahoma. While the exact causes for cases of food poisoning are nearly impossible to pinpoint, we suspect it was a roast beef sandwich she had for lunch just before we checked out of the resort. We think it may have come from the standing roast that had been outside for several hours at the street party the night before.

Not even that couldn’t spoil what had been a week in paradise for us. It was our first experience with public nudity, but despite carrying far more weight than either of us liked, we felt accepted and entirely comfortable at the pool and hot tub after those scant first few moments of uncertainty. When people say the others there will be of all shapes, sizes and ages, they mean it. While some were model material, most weren’t and it didn’t seem to matter one bit. The only ones attracting stares were the ones who clearly wanted them by how they chose to display themselves. Everyone else was simply another potential friend.

Among the special treats we enjoyed were spa treatments on two days. The first time around, we got a basic Swedish and aromatherapy couples massage from Jennifer Lynch and Sofia Moncrieff that ranked among the best we’ve ever received. That just whetted our appetite for the Braco Deluxe package we enjoyed three days later, 3.5 hours of body pampering that has to be experienced to be believed. Our masseuses were highly skilled and very responsive to our needs and requests.

We also took a mildly entertaining short snorkeling trip early one morning. Because Hurricane Ivan had stirred things up only 10 days before, there wasn’t too much to see but the experience was fun anyway.

One of the many memorable highlights for us came at the weekly Pajama Party. Stephanie looked fetching in her comfy "blushing bride" p.j.’s while Ken attended attired in a pair of flashy boxer shorts. When 53-year-old and pudgy Ken was pushed out on the floor to compete against a dozen young, hard-bodied, wildly gyrating hunks in the "Sexiest Male Dancer at Braco" contest, he had a surprise in store, even for his unsuspecting new bride. Halfway into his dance, he suddenly peeled down his boxers to reveal yet another pair of boxers underneath imprinted with a sparkling American flag. Clicking his heels in attention and a few salutes later, Ken brought down the house and stole the crown much to the consternation of his fellow contestants who were far more deserving but far less amusing. How his inflated ego made it back home in tact still is a mystery.

Ken worked some on his pudginess at the newly furnished workout room. Its array of new machines was better than any place we’ve seen before outside of a dedicated fitness center. And the view is unparalleled, of course! Ken had to be careful, however, to take his intensity down a few notches in the heat and humidity which were helped but not eliminated by the air conditioning.

The Fantasy Party on Monday night was a (ahem!) bust. We waited around for an hour or so, but the others there were far more interested in watching football on TV and playing pool than partying that night. It should be noted that the resort still was less than half full and this party is held on the AN side where some fear to tread. Better attended and appreciated was the Toga Party at the coolest place on the property, the disco.

Our favorite place was the AN pool, floating around, chatting it up with soon-to-be friends, playing trivia games and experiencing the wonderful and warm hospitality of Wayne, the entertainment staff and especially Merl.

During our week at GLB, the greatest hazard was not getting sunburns (although that always was a concern). It was the mosquitoes. Hurricane Ivan’s wet wake and some daily showers left many pools of standing water for them to propagate at an alarming rate. The resort did all it could do, sometimes fogging the same areas several times in one day, but as a force of nature, those little insects are tough! Many guests were visitors at the nurse’s office, getting treatments for bites that had swollen uncomfortably large. We were smart, we thought, and packed a couple cans of strong repellant. When we opened our bags, however, the cans were gone, replaced with a note from an inspector. It turns out the ingredient DEET, so popular and so effective in the states to combat these pests, is not permitted in Jamaica. Live and learn. The herbal spray sold at the resort was of questionable effectiveness, so our best protection was to stay in the water as much as we could ….. A hard task, but somebody had to do it.

I doubt many people ever have departed Grand Lido Braco without full intentions of returning as soon as possible. We’ll be among the returnees some day, for sure, but we also have other travel experiences ahead of us and a vacation cabin up in the Rocky Mountains always competing for our leisure time. We’ll make it out to that dream gazebo after all some day, perhaps to repeat our vows made with such love barefoot on the Braco beach.

In the meantime, we’d be glad to share our advice and observations with others considering a trip to GLB. Just email us with something about Braco in the subject line and we’ll get back to you soon ….. JayhawKen@aol.com

With Memories for a Lifetime,

Stephanie and Ken

Tulsa, Oklahoma